Sometimes I wish I were blind or something so that I can't see the pain in front of me.
Sometimes I wish I could be numbed of all senses so that I won't feel a thing.
Sometimes I wish my heart would just stop beating like it's gonna jump out of my rib cage anytime.
Sometimes I wish I could just shut my mind down.
Sometimes I wish that I could go back in time for just that brief moment to stop all the madness.
Sometimes I...
I only have one wish and one wish only... Nothing could change that wish I'm having now...
Well... I don't have to state the wish here... It's what most people wished for anyway...
What wouldn't I give just to have this situation to be in reversed? Reversed not as in the person but the things that is happening...
I don't know why I have this feeling... A mixture feelings of being afraid and worried at the same time... And this is me driving nuts by the moment I'm sitting here typing this out...
Every second that is ticking by in my time now felt so sluggish... So slow... It's almost to a standstill... When I thought it was already passing by so long and after I realized it... It was only so short... That what time that have passed...
I tried to block it out of my mind... Try to just ignore it... I couldn't succeed... Every time I'm alone... It'll creep back like vines coiling up the tress...
Right now as we speak... The feeling is getting stronger... The worrying and the afraid in me... It's getting strong to a point where it overwhelmed most my feelings and my judgments...
I have so many things to say... But... I just couldn't put it in words... Couldn't place it properly in order to be properly typed and be presented in an understandable way...
Aite... I think that's all...
Entry no.016 by Gaijin Sichirou a.k.a Aaron Tay
Monday, April 12, 2010
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Building a road
"You can bring a horse to drink water, but you can't force it to drink. Even if you managed to force the horse to drink, it'll end up pretending to drink"
That's a quote my friend told me... It make sense in a way... Not everything you can force someone to do... What we can actually do is just give our best advice and let them make the decision themselves...
Alright... What I actually wanna write here is this... The road that 2 people are building... Going to a hill... That's what actually when you're in a relationship...
We started to build a road... Going to the top of a hill... Where we can see all the beautiful things that we like... No matter it's a beautiful night scenery overlooking a city or a plain grassland to lie down on it and look at the stars all night or a view where you can see a blanket of clouds that looks like an ocean and see the sun rise from behind the sea of clouds... We started building... Slowly... We met a few bumpy rides... But we managed to build a smooth road with both our efforts... After that, the road we build along the way was quite a smooth one... Not much bumpy rides... But then, we met a landslide along the way blocking the path... We tried... You tried... But instead of we trying to clear it... You left midway, rather than try to clear the landslide... You decided to give up and follow another path that's already build for you which you are not sure what you'll see coming in the road ahead or rather would you be happy with the road that's already build for you when you go down along the road... But I wanna ask... Would you really be happy down the line? In a few years time... When you look back at the road you've traveled... Would you think back and say "Hey, I don't want this... This is not what I really wanted... Although I'm happy that there's a road already build smooth for me to move on but... I don't feel happy bout it..." and start regretting? "I wanted a road that although I have to build for myself, and there may be bumpy rides along the way but I feel happy building it and I'm happy that I followed this..."
I'm not trying to persuade nor force anything here... I'm just writing this out of my feelings and what I've been thinking... Well... Just think bout it then... Would you be really happy bout it? I'm not just saying one person in particular... But anyone who's reading this... My friends and all the other people that's reading this now... If there are... So... People... Sit down for a moment... Think this through... I have been building my own road since my parents were divorced and although my dad did build for me one... I decided to build my own one... Although there's a lot of bumpy rides along the way and met obstacles along the way... But I'm happy bout it... That I'm not bound to something that's not exactly mine although it's build for me but not my own hands... Lately, I've met obstacles along the way and I'm stuck with it and actually gave up already... But someone made me realize that "Hey, I can do this... I just need to do it in another way...". So, I'm standing back up picking up pieces of me one by one and proceed in building this road as smoothly as I could... But honestly... I wanted the person that I loved the most would be building our roads together... Or maybe just support me and at the same time me doing the same for her in building our own road...
I'm practically done here... My friend's been bugging me cause I blog... Haha... He can't stand people blogging and I'm using his laptop... (Oops..)
Aite people... Ciauz...
Entry no.015 by Gaijin Sichirou a.k.a Aaron Tay
That's a quote my friend told me... It make sense in a way... Not everything you can force someone to do... What we can actually do is just give our best advice and let them make the decision themselves...
Alright... What I actually wanna write here is this... The road that 2 people are building... Going to a hill... That's what actually when you're in a relationship...
We started to build a road... Going to the top of a hill... Where we can see all the beautiful things that we like... No matter it's a beautiful night scenery overlooking a city or a plain grassland to lie down on it and look at the stars all night or a view where you can see a blanket of clouds that looks like an ocean and see the sun rise from behind the sea of clouds... We started building... Slowly... We met a few bumpy rides... But we managed to build a smooth road with both our efforts... After that, the road we build along the way was quite a smooth one... Not much bumpy rides... But then, we met a landslide along the way blocking the path... We tried... You tried... But instead of we trying to clear it... You left midway, rather than try to clear the landslide... You decided to give up and follow another path that's already build for you which you are not sure what you'll see coming in the road ahead or rather would you be happy with the road that's already build for you when you go down along the road... But I wanna ask... Would you really be happy down the line? In a few years time... When you look back at the road you've traveled... Would you think back and say "Hey, I don't want this... This is not what I really wanted... Although I'm happy that there's a road already build smooth for me to move on but... I don't feel happy bout it..." and start regretting? "I wanted a road that although I have to build for myself, and there may be bumpy rides along the way but I feel happy building it and I'm happy that I followed this..."
I'm not trying to persuade nor force anything here... I'm just writing this out of my feelings and what I've been thinking... Well... Just think bout it then... Would you be really happy bout it? I'm not just saying one person in particular... But anyone who's reading this... My friends and all the other people that's reading this now... If there are... So... People... Sit down for a moment... Think this through... I have been building my own road since my parents were divorced and although my dad did build for me one... I decided to build my own one... Although there's a lot of bumpy rides along the way and met obstacles along the way... But I'm happy bout it... That I'm not bound to something that's not exactly mine although it's build for me but not my own hands... Lately, I've met obstacles along the way and I'm stuck with it and actually gave up already... But someone made me realize that "Hey, I can do this... I just need to do it in another way...". So, I'm standing back up picking up pieces of me one by one and proceed in building this road as smoothly as I could... But honestly... I wanted the person that I loved the most would be building our roads together... Or maybe just support me and at the same time me doing the same for her in building our own road...
I'm practically done here... My friend's been bugging me cause I blog... Haha... He can't stand people blogging and I'm using his laptop... (Oops..)
Aite people... Ciauz...
Entry no.015 by Gaijin Sichirou a.k.a Aaron Tay
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
