Falling sick

I wonder what's with falling sick that it makes you think of the people you love the most? I've been sick for the 4 days and when I lie down on my bed when I'm awake... All I think was that how I wish that she would be there... Today I'm supposed to be all ok... But things have gotten worst and my body temperature hit as high as 39.2 degrees celcius... While I was there lying awake... I just wished that she's here... When I fall asleep, I thought that she was here... When I'm awake I would start feeling sad... Cause it was just a dream...

You might ask me why I'm not moving on and why I'm still stuck there... It's because I really loved you so... I tried to divert my mind... From thinking about you, but somehow... I would fail to do so... Whatever I do I always wanted you to be a part of it as well... But... Sigh... How I wish I could just turn back time sometimes...

Here's a song lyric that would always remind me of you...

Menatap indahnya senyuman diwajahmu
Membuat ku terdiam dan terpaku
Mengerti akan hadirnya cinta terindah
Saat kau peluk mesra tubuhku

Banyak kata
Yang tak mampu ku ungkapkan
Kepada dirimu

Aku ingin engkau slalu
Hadir dan temani aku
Di setiap langkah yang meyakiniku
Kau tercipta untukku
Sepanjang hidupku

Aku ingin engkau slalu
Hadir dan temani aku
Di setiap langkah yang meyakiniku
Kau tercipta untukku
Sepanjang hidupku
Meski waktu akan mampu
Memanggil sluruh ragaku
Ku ingin kau tahu
Ku slalu milikmu
Yang mencintaimu
Sepanjang hidupku

Entry no.019 by Gaijin Sichirou a.k.a Aaron Tay

Untitled

"Felt like I'm being pushed aside
Felt like everything is pointing towards me
Felt like the spotlight of humiliation, hate, avoidance, not to be accepted is on me
Felt like loneliness without my love is eating my life away slowly... Devouring me...
Felt like...
Ending this life sometimes...
Is it really worth it?
Will anyone remember me?
Will I live in someone's heart while my body dies?
Will I... Be someone to u???"